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By Rasha Salib
Published on Invalid Date
4 minutes read
By: Rasha Abdul Majeed
My favourite moments are those most dreaded by other parents: the late night feedings. I have re-wired my mind to look forward to those quiet cherished times when my son and I can be totally alone forming our bond, creating our story, learning about one another. I have come to understand that this time can be precious in acquiring important tidbits about him, his mannerisms, his likes and dislikes. I also came to understand that through these times -away from everybody's well-meaning advice and meddling- I can see my growing confidence in myself as a mother. I have learnt not to tend to every move and sound our new roommate makes... little did I know that babies -even when sound asleep- are noisy creatures. You only learn this when you take time to study, observe and keep the wakings to the mindful moment. Remind yourself gently that these inconvenient sleepless hours will soon be over and bring yourself to engage your senses fully to a beautiful fleeting experience.
I have re-wired my mind to look forward to those quiet cherished times when my son and I can be totally alone forming our bond, creating our story, learning about one another.
Waking up several times into the night early on in your role as a parent to a newborn (whether for breast or bottle feeding) can strip down even the most pleasant of personalities into a raging beast. It has been cited as the most compromising of all parental duties and features in many conversations as a common complaint. Sleeplessness leads to thinned patience, foul moods and decisions made in the fog of grogginess, favouring expediency over efficiency. I became that beast and instead of enjoying motherhood, I was being resentful of a role so exalted by others. I decided to change my approach. If I could not control my baby's constant need for feeding throughout the night, I was going to look for a way to restore my robbed expectation of ah moments. I began a simple ritual.
I started looking at the feedings in a different light; a time for me too. It wasn't just nursing a crying baby, it was nourishing my son. It wasn't just silencing my son's cries for food, it became my meditation time.
I started looking at the feedings in a different light; a time for me too. It wasn't just nursing a crying baby, it was nourishing my son. It wasn't just silencing my son's cries for food, it became my meditation time. I started focusing on the sounds he made, his breath, his facial movements, my breath and my own facial expressions. Even in the dim of the evening light, I could see a new conversation unfolding lending more meaning. What were previously perceived as my interrupted nights became quickly the anticipated rendezvous with my little one reserving all his growing personality traits for me in these daily exclusive sessions.
I created a small efficient station: A bassinette that has a tray underneath to hold diapers, wipes, tissues, creams and a change of clothes all within my arms reach. An added plus is that was on wheels making it mobile around the house. Remember to have a huge bottle of water to keep you hydrated, breast feeding makes you thirsty.
Some parents opt for a chair. I liked the convenience of being in my warm bed and not having to worry about carrying a baby whilst still groggy with sleep and being on unsteady feet or sleep-numbed hands.
Write entries occasionally to take note of the best or memorable moment activity, sound, gesture of the night before. It does not have to be a daily routine. (enough to keep you rooted in the positive movement). Get a pretty journal and a great pen to encourage you to write down. My favourite were the gentle sighs my son made, or the little hands clasping , or his finger holding mine fast, or even staring into one another's eyes for as long as he has them open and smiling...
soft soothing night light, or natural organic smells like lavender or rose water. My go-to was orange blossom. I use it after his bath. I also had it in my drinking water bottle to keep breath fresh on your baby's face.
Rasha received her Bachelor’s degree from the University of Toronto, Ontario, Canada, where she specialized in Psychology. She completed her Master of Arts in Clinical Psychology and Marriage and Family Therapy, at Pepperdine University, Malibu, California.
In the US and Canada, Rasha worked with individuals, children, adolescents, families, and couples seeking therapy for relationship issues, addiction, eating disorders, depression, anxiety and trauma. In Jordan, she also served as a school counselor at the Ahliyyah School for Girls, where she provided support and guidance to adolescent females who were experiencing emotional and academic difficulties. She also worked for eight years in private practice in Jordan (Maria Den Braven, Jordan Hospital and Dr. Nasri Jacir’s Clinic). Currently, Rasha is the head of the Psychology Department at Abdali Hospital in Amman. Her fields of specialization are: Couple and Family therapy, premarital counseling, relationship problems, infidelity, parenting issues, personality disorders, treatment of addiction, co-dependency, mood disorders, anxiety disorders and OCD, trauma, abuse, sexual assault, counseling for LGBTQIA+ individuals, grief, bereavement and loss, childhood trauma, eating disorders, suicidal ideations and self-harm behaviors, self-empowerment, and transformational healing.
Rasha provides effective and evidence-based treatment and therapy, anchored in research and positive outcomes that are tailored to meet each individual’s needs. She utilizes an integrative therapeutic approach, working with clients in a collaborative and insightful process and ultimately providing care and support for a transformational journey towards health, healing and wellbeing. Rasha’s clinical mental health and wellness method has a very positive, evidence-based orientation that believes people are competent and resourceful. The focus is on providing quality psychological care by weaving in acceptance with change strategies, exploring how clients would like things to be different, how to make change happen and how to recognize signs indicating that changes are happening. Her work is guided by a tenacious vision of vibrant communities where individuals thrive, succeed, and realize their unique potential of mind, body, and spirit. Rasha’s goal is to empower people to transform and heal themselves psychologically, physically and emotionally.
