I thought I understood pregnancy quite well from a professional perspective as a Clinical Dietitian, I dealt with many pregnant women in my clinic over the years. However, when it came to experiencing it myself, I felt especially overwhelmed because I was so consumed with work and felt so unprepared for the changes to come. 

Looking back at my nine months of pregnancy, I learned a lot about myself and motherhood. Pregnancy is truly a miracle, and any woman who goes through it, is a true champ in my book. However, as beautiful as this miracle is, there is nothing that can prepare you for the reality of holding a positive pregnancy test. These are a few things  that nobody told me about pregnancy: 

1. You don’t need to give up all the things you like doing. 

 As soon as I found out I was pregnant, I knew I had to make major changes to my lifestyle. I remember my first visit to my doctor; I went in expecting her to give me a long list of don’ts. To my surprise, she said something that truly resonated in my mind: “pregnancy is not a disease, just do what you like just listen to your body, and you don’t need to break records now”. 

From then on, I kept repeating this sentence to myself every time it felt like my life was over now that I’m pregnant. I ended up enjoying the pregnancy-friendly activities that I was able to do. 

2. It’s okay if you do not feel an instant connection with your baby right away.

I have to admit, I was one of those women who felt nothing towards my baby for a long time during my pregnancy, it was probably because I always love people the more I know them and I didn’t know my baby; so how was I expected to love someone I haven’t even met? 

Another reason why I felt so disconnected initially was that I was stuck in the “is it real?” phase. Even after finding out the sex of the baby and chose the baby’s name I still didn’t get that gush of motherly emotions I thought I’d get at that point. Up until the last few days of my pregnancy I used to still refer to him as ‘the baby’ rather than his actual name. What was wrong with me? Why does it feel like I’m so ungrateful for this pregnancy?

To be honest I think what I was going through was completely normal and I didn’t need a psychologist to confirm that. Having mixed feelings about your pregnancy is quite normal, it’s the social pressure that demands all these motherly feelings to suddenly emerge out of thin air.

My advice is to be gentle with yourself and give yourself time to develop a bond with your child whether it’s as soon as you find out you’re pregnant or even a few weeks after your child is born.  

3. Take the advice you want, discard the ones you don’t.

There’s no denying that there’s something about being pregnant that attracts unsolicited advice and comments. The moment I started showing was when people’s opinions began to pour about my pregnancy, their pregnancy, birth experiences, and of course things I should and shouldn’t do. You can imagine being a dietitian and still having to tolerate some relatives giving me absurd nutritional tips. Here’s a list of the most annoying pregnancy advisers I’ve encountered during my pregnancy:

• The nutrition expert: “Eat up, you are eating for two now”, “you should/shouldn’t be eating that, you’re pregnant!”, “are you sure you don’t want that decaf, caffeine is not good for the baby”
• The sleep adviser: “Enjoy your sleep now, you won’t be sleeping when the baby comes” – this one used to bug me so much, maybe because I knew it was sort of true I just didn’t want to hear it when I was already having trouble sleeping from either reflux, nasal congestion, baby’s kicks at 3 AM or my personal favorite needing to go to the bathroom every 2 hours. 
• The horror story-teller: usually giving labor-related anecdotes like “I spent 30- something hours in labor and ended up having a c-section”, “use/don’t use epidural”, “This is your first? Oh, don’t be in a rush, you’ll probably go past your due date” 
• The all-natural/organic/non-GMO guru: these know-it-alls will warn you against pretty much everything under the sun because it has some horrifying effect on your baby, this includes everything from baby diapers to your makeup.

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve received some useful tips and tricks along the way, so I learned that this unsolicited advice is inevitable, even now as a mom of a three-month-old baby. So basically, you need to judge if someone’s advice makes sense to you and if it doesn’t you are entitled to dismiss it altogether, smile, and say “Thanks for sharing”.

4. It’s okay not to feel like yourself for a while.

During pregnancy, we go through many noticeable changes in our bodies and these physical changes get more attention than the emotional changes that occur. I, knew I wanted to have kids someday but the whole pregnancy experience wasn’t something I ever wondered about. 

Early on in my pregnancy, I struggled with anxiety and mood swings, even though I didn’t look pregnant physically, but I felt fluctuations in my personality.

The second trimester was a walk in the park for me, I felt like these feelings started to fade away slowly and I got my mojo back. I was more energetic and more excited to welcome my baby. Then the third trimester hit me hard when my back pain started getting worse, my quality of sleep started declining, I had trouble breathing and I felt tired all the time.

5. Don’t obsess about your weight but don’t let go 

Self-monitoring is key to a healthy pregnancy, this is not only limited to your weight but all health-related aspects such as your eating habits, sleep, hydrations status, mood, and general wellbeing. However when it comes to your weight gain, I strongly advise you not to weigh yourself daily, your healthcare team will weigh you at each appointment so you will - SHOULD- be walked through the details of your pregnancy weight gain. Aim to eat healthy on most days and give yourself a break occasionally when the cravings kick in. 

6. You need to take it easy on yourself during the first trimester

Being pregnant for the first time can be a strange experience; while processing the idea that you are delicately growing a human being inside of you can be overwhelming. The first trimester has a bad reputation among moms for its unpleasant symptoms. This reputation did not come out of nowhere, it is due to the major hormonal changes that occur to make sure your body is ready for your growing fetus. 

My first trimester was rough, I struggled with severe nausea, fatigue, and very high emotions. Here’s what got me through the first trimester:

• If you don’t feel like eating anything, go for a healthy cold smoothie or a home-made soup.
• Ditch anything heavily scented like perfumes, detergents, and body lotions.
• Sleep, sleep, sleep.
• Stay hydrated, you will feel more exhausted when you are dehydrated.
• When all else fails, go for that popsicle 
• Avoid heavy meals, keep your meals small and frequent.
• Cry it out if you feel you need to.
• Talk to your partner about your feelings (do not underestimate how much this helps!).

7. Exercise during pregnancy is a hot topic in our part of the world. 

This is a very sensitive subject that I was criticized for by many including my own family! When it came to exercise, I encountered two types of people:

• Those who were super encouraging when they’d see me exercise at the gym even if they didn’t know me.
• Those others including some certified trainers that used to cringe when I walked into their class because they didn’t feel like making modifications for a pregnant woman. 

I was once kicked out of a Pilates class by a “professional” trainer because she lacked experience training pregnant women! You can imagine how discouraging that must have been for me; I guess it’s because I did not fit the pregnant woman stereotype of having a penguin-like walk with swollen feet and can barely breathe (which I ended up being towards the end). 

Before my pregnancy, I used to work out four times a week between high-intensity classes and tennis over the weekend. So it was tough for me to accept the idea of giving all that up, so once I got the green light from my doctor on what I can do during my pregnancy, I kept exercising while I was physically able to. 

Don’t get me wrong I also gave myself a break when my brain was telling me I should catch that class at the gym, but my body was telling me to take a nap. Your goals for exercise should be to feel good, have a healthy pregnancy, and also get you moving, it should never be to break your personal records, BUILD more muscles, or lose weight. So, when it comes to exercise, as cliché as it sounds you need to listen to your body when it needs you to move and when you need to kick back and relax. 

8. Childbirth classes with your partner are a must!

One of the biggest regrets during my pregnancy was not taking birthing classes, I thought I’d read books and use the internet to get all the information I needed. I was scared and anxious about the idea of being in labor, but I thought women have been doing it for centuries, how bad can it be? 

Well looking back at my labor, I think there was plenty of room for improvement. I know that attending these classes wouldn’t have magically changed the course of my labor, but it would’ve greatly benefited my husband who grappled to find ways to help me. Labor is a lot of hard work, even if our bodies are naturally capable of giving birth it doesn’t mean we shouldn’t prepare ourselves.

Our body is capable of running a marathon but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t train for it!