The man of your dreams: your husband. Yup, the one and only love of your life.

Seriously though, do you still believe in that? Is it similar to how it is in the movies, soap operas and everything else we see on screen? Well, let’s just say it’s not exactly all true, and it definitely shouldn't be everything we aspire to have with our spouses, or as they are also known, as our other halves. I don’t believe we come in halves anyway.

Before cutting to the core, let me start by saying this: I love my husband and respect him for who he is as a human being, for all the amazing things he does for me and for being the fantastic father he is to our children. He is truly a blessing to have and anyone who knows him knows that about him.

Marriage is truly a sacred relationship that comes with so many challenges. Some times are rosy and others are quite, hmm, let’s say not-so-rosy.

Starting a new life with your loved one is an incredible milestone in one's life, especially during the first few years until baby number one arrives. You almost have everything under control, then the true challenge unfolds, that is the challenge of parenthood and how you manage the new duties you have between the two of you.

I remember my husband was so impeccable, always looking good and fresh with his shiny shoes and clean-cut outfits. And I remember laughing after having our first baby, thinking of how he will be seen burping his infant, carrying baby bags, chasing a toddler around and, more importantly, being seen doing all of that in public!

As sweet as this may seem, there are always challenges behind closed doors. Hoping not to sound negative, I want to share the reality of parenthood and how it may interfere with the fantasy of living out a love story, realizing that things are not what you thought (or hoped) they would be, and finally, the fears you may have about the scary question: Did our love just fade away?

Here’s the thing my dears, I believe that love is not enough, and it's not enough to build a solid marriage. Yes, it is a vital and definitely a sweet addition, but it is not everything.

After having children, your attention shifts to your kids and their well-being. The romantic relationship begins to change, your tolerance for tending to your man's needs weakens, and as a result, you will feel that you might be drifting apart sometimes. But in my opinion, this is all fairly normal if you learn how to address it and not let it stay that way for an extended period of time. 

So, where did the image of the “man of your dreams” or “love of your life” go? Well, not too far, I say.

Partners have to respect each other and the husband has to be fully aware of his duties as a father. From my experience I noticed some couples having a hard time because the father is not as involved and not doing enough, considering the matter to be “not their job." No! Excuse me? When you help your wife with your kids, with tutoring them, driving them to their after-school activities or even with household chores, this is not seen as extra effort, it is the bare minimum. Remember, this is a partnership, and these acts show love and compassion. 

Naturally, I won't be surprised if someone came at me to say: "Hey, but the man is the family's provider, he works hard all day and you expect him to come home and help? Rather than have his time to unwind and delve into a hot meal - which the has wife cooked - in his comfy pyjamas - which again, the wife has washed and ironed - to watch TV and relax?"

And I say to you: "Yes, sir. That is exactly what I'm saying." 

Your wife was not "lounging around all day doing anything." I'm not saying that you have to do everything with her, but be considerate towards her and her efforts, just as she is to you. 

Even though we live in a man's world and fathers work hard, mothers work hard too! I believe we could change the perception around men helping around in the house. But how?

All will be revealed in part two, peeps.