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7 minutes read
Interviewed by: Maali Jamil from the 360Moms team.
Esraa Rothman-Bani is a Sudanese-American living in Abu Dhabi. She's a wife, a mom of three and the founder and CEO of Moms Guide Abu Dhabi. Her blog and Instagram feed (@expatmom_uae) are a source of inspiration and reflection for women and mothers. Her ability to magically string words together and connect with women all over through her candid thoughts and beautiful photos has made her a personal favourite of mine.
What inspired you to start blogging? Tell us about @momsguide?
To be honest, I was never inspired to start blogging. It kind of just fell into my lap. I was inspired to build a mothering community and a parenting community in the UAE. So over the years, this mini non-profit venture grew. It's like an unknown animal. I first put in the heart, then the mind, then eyes, then the ears, then the nose... now the blog is a tail that I just added. My colleagues and I used to send out a newsletter that had interesting pieces so we were like "hey, why don't we copy-paste this material into a blog?" Then we created a small-busted blog and people were interested in it. Then we upgraded it. Naturally, it evolved. Blogging came as the aftermath. So, Moms Guide is an animal that is still revealing its look and nature. At the core of it is the heart: the community!
Moms Guide is an animal that is still revealing its look and nature. At the core of it is the heart: the community!
What do you feel are some key differences between being raised in the United States and being raised in the Gulf?
Everyone's experiences are going to be different. If you were to ask me about my personal experience, I do not have to look at my children. I was raised in the States, and then for eight years, my father was an expat in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia. So, I did notice a shift in "ways of being." There are pros and cons everywhere, but one that comes immediately apparent is education and extracurricular activities. I feel like in the Gulf there is so much more emphasis and pressure on meeting milestones and excelling academically. I do not remember it being such a big deal in the States until high school years when you had to sit exams and apply for colleges. Here it starts in Nursery, at three-months-old when you start all these baby classes. The pressure, man. The pressure!
Did not allowing your daughters to play with things like iPads have an impact on them?
Well, I think for the most part it is a positive experience. You have to stick through it though. Don't flip flop. If you make a conscious choice of "restricting" technology and not prohibiting (we're in the 21st century). If you restrict it, then it's a win-win. They know how to use it but it is not the centre of their day. They will whine for the first week. Then they will just start picking up a toilet paper roll and a stick and create toys. They'll use fine-motor and gross-motor skills. They'll be active and creative. It has been about two and a half years since I hid the iPad charger. No one died yet. It's fine. I let them use the computer for their Bug Club reading lessons a couple of times a week. I let them watch two hours of TV on weekend mornings while eating pancakes. This inspired me to start the movement of #childhoodunpluggeduae and #childhoodunpluggedmiddleeast and I would love for more families around the Middle East and UAE to share with me what impact that had on them too.
They will whine for the first week. Then they will just start picking up a toilet paper roll and a stick and create toys.
What is something you feel you could do better at, whether it's at home, work or with friends?
I think I have a huge hole in my soul. I have a huge hole in my heart. Being busy with the kids and work made me not a very spiritual person. But my whole existence is centred around spirituality. I want to be better with being present when I pray, fully-focused. I want to remember that this is not "it." There is something more permanent after this life. I want to be a good role model for my children to show them that when all fails, you have something else to draw on. A bigger force, bigger strength and they are never alone. I should first embody this before I teach it to them. Kids won't remember your words but will remember what you were.
What are the three baby products for Sharif you couldn't do without?
Who is someone who inspires you and why?
I would say, personally, it is my parents. I am literally a combination of my father and my mother. I took on the community-based public health type interest from my father who spent his years working in NGOs, United Nations, Save the Children and the Micronutrient Initiative. I took on the extroverted, I-love-everyone energy from my mom. Professionally, who inspires me is Semhar Araia. I knew her before she racked these 19.1K followers on Twitter. She is a dear friend, a mentor and absolutely inspiring. I met her some years ago, I joined her organization as a director for a couple of years. But, everything that I do in Moms Guide is a direct result of her message of being "fearless in your excellence." Take the time out to see how this young lady in her 30's runs the country and was even awarded as a champion of change by the president of the United States. Whenever I'm stuck, I catch myself saying "What would Semhar do?"
I want them to look within. Not up or out. Just within. They came with everything they need to navigate this world. Everything.
Who do you want your daughters to look up to and why?
That's a hard one. I honestly don't want them to look up to anyone. I want them to look within. Not up or out. Just within. They came with everything they need to navigate this world. Everything. No one has what they need. But if they find someone who will remind them every now and then, look within. I want them to be around that someone.
What is the most valuable piece of advice you've received?
Whenever you get too caught up in something, remember that we are in this world, but not of it.
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